Christmas??

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.... What if Christmas, perhaps.... means a little bit more?   (Dr. Seuss)

I'm sure we would all agree with that statement, and yet we still get caught up in the whole "store" thing. The past couple of years, Christmas has looked VERY different for me, and I'm still trying to figure this year out. ( I am also 4 months without my thyroid medicine, so it is affecting me in every way)

Last year, Grace Fellowship, in Johnson City, did a sermon series called, "What I NEED FROM Christmas." Hope, Peace, Joy..... So, that is what I wrapped up and put under the tree. We didn't have money to buy anything, so we didn't. The guilt that came from not being able to bothered me too.
 We would love to be able to buy the children, grandchildren all kinds of things all year, but we can't now, so we have to come to grips with that. What is it that we can do?
 Now, this year is even more different. We are away from them as well as not being able to send them anything. I think we have both just ignored it so far. The weather is 75-80 so not very "christmasy," we are still in hotel at moment ... so no decorations, no Christmas music... ( I did try today, but couldn't do it)
Christmas is Christ's birthday and a time for love. Sure, it is a time for family. I miss lots of things, and know that my actions have resulted in the consequences, so it is now a time for reflection and some sadness. Todd and I are trying to figure out just what IS Christmas this year? We have been ignoring it, but truly do not want to do that either. It IS a celebration of Christ's birthday. WE CAN do that. We can love those He has put in our path at this season.
We keep having these "firsts" and hopefully some "lasts" too. He is teaching us many things through all this. I just want to always be his student. I want to learn whatever it is, the first time through.
We do know that He has a plan. We are thankful for our families and our new church family. I am thankful for my friends far away- and my few new ones here.

Bob Hope said, "My idea of Christmas, whether old fashioned or modern, is very simple; loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?"
WHY DO WE? We don't.
So, this year, with no music, no tree, no gifts, no family.... we will CELEBRATE that Christ came to give us HIS hope, joy, peace and eternal life. We will try and share that with all those we come in contact with this season and always.

Pestilence, Port-a- potties---Pampered??

I have always considered myself as one able to handle lots of things.I do not consider myself to be "pampered." As we have lived in an RV for the past - almost 3 weeks, I have learned a lot about myself. I still do not believe myself to be "pampered," but we really ALL are here in the states. I also know, that it is OK to not be able to live in certain circumstances.
I will say that when that door opened and we didn't have a lot of other choices, we just thought it was the right thing to do; however, looking back on it, we are not so sure. I CAN live in small places, no problem. This was more than that. First of all, we didn't always have access to water. So, we had to go a few days at a time without a shower!!  Sometimes the electricity would just go off in the middle of the night, and then the propane went out and the guy didn't get any more. The 2 biggest things were the RATS and the fact that in the really cold nights (mornings) we had to go use the port-a- potty. LOL
It was far away from work, from church and everything else. Still, I thought it would "save" us money. After these few weeks there, we have learned differently. It was also hard on us as a couple because we were both stressed over different things and not dealing with them as well as we could have. We did learn through all this and have come out stronger for sure.
Yesterday, Thanksgiving day, started out kind of hard for me because I was focusing on the "bad" and not what I have to be thankful for. I DO know that most of the world does not have it even as nice as the RV. I get it. I know we are NOT used to that though. I did; however, get my focus right and we enjoyed a quiet day eating baked potatoes and watching movies. ( we could use our toaster oven, and our car was messed up so we couldn't go anywhere)
Today, I had prayed that the Lord would give SOME kind of encouragement, some little blessing..... the first table I had this morning was all 3 of our pastors at church! Lawrence had already been texting Todd, and they told me that they were going to help get the car going, get us moved back into the hotel and make sure I could get home! Wow! I told them how they were the answer to what I had just prayed! They did all they said, and so we are back in the hotel, the car is fixed and we are clean! God is so good to us! I am thankful most of all for the presence of God in my life, and his Peace!
We do miss our kids. We know that this time of year is going to be "harder" than the other times. We also KNOW that it will not always be like this. We know we are in His hands, and so are our kids.
Thank you for your prayers. I am so glad to be back online and be able to keep in touch and Skype our kids!!

View from the Bayou

Bayou....body of water found in low lying areas.Usually it is moving slower than the main channel...often becoming boggy and stagnant.
So, we are living on the BAYOU only in the physical sense! God is busy working in us and for us. I pray that I never become LIKE the bayou... boggy or stagnant.

I don't know exactly where I left off before, but we have been on the move since we left Tn. I didn't mind it, but after about 7 weeks, I was ready to at least settle somewhere for longer than a week. I had gotten a job at Russell's, but still had not gotten a paycheck or tips and we had to move again. Thankful for Dad and Mom who sent us enough to "get on our feet." We stayed in a hotel for one week, and I had been praying for the Lord to provide something more permanent and something we could afford. I started looking at apts and such. I was making money and had saved some of that and some of mom and dad's, but if we got one of those... there was deposit, rent, electricity. etc... plus the signing of a lease that we didn't really want right now, and the fact that we have NO furniture! So, last Saturday, Todd was taking me to work and we saw some RVs, and I said, " It would be kind of nice to rent a camper on the water if we don't have a boat, but I don't guess we will find that in N.O." We laughed.
Sunday morning, I got up and the first listing on craigslist said "CAMPER ON THE LAKE"  I about croaked! God really does have a sense of humor! It is farther away from work, but we had prayed that if it was right, we would both know. The guy is great, and the place is perfect for now. Sure, it is small, but so is a boat! Another main reason for a "cheaper" place for now, is so we don't have to stress over bills while he is still finding a job. I have had many captains come in work and have gotten some great advice for Todd. So, he has a few classes he needs to take and they are not free! We live simply, get his classes out of the way, and pray for a job!
I do want to tell a funny though.... the first night there, Tuesday night, was the coldest one of the year so far. (they don't have too many) they had given us a heater, but we didn't think we would need it! Also, the winds were so strong that night, and a few times I wondered if the camper was going to blow over! When we woke up, the lights wouldn't come on.... the battery had gone dead. I needed to take a shower or at least wash my hair..... the only other people that live there, offered for me to take a shower in therir camper. So, I did, and it was FREEZING! I cried through the whole thing! I said, "OK GOD,,,,, really" They had forgotten they had turned off their hot water heater the night before!!! OH WOW.... then I had to drive to work in our pitiful little rabbit. We did put the top up, but it isn't a whole top... I do need to put a picture up of that! I am learning that APPEARANCES do not really matter a whole lot! Everybody drives nice cars here.... but they do their laundry at the laundry mat and live in the projects! lol
I told the Lord that I do not care, I am grateful for a vehicle that gets us where we need to go.
Ronnie, the guy that owns the marina, found a great piece of vinyl and has offered to help us make it water tight! Hopefully before Sunday when it is going to rain!

I am anxious to wake up in the mornings and go sit on the end of the dock... even on the bayou. I won't see a dolphin, but it is peaceful and the sun comes up right over it! The Lord has provided AGAIN, and we are in awe of his love and provision.

I know from experience it can be easy to be like a bayou and become stagnant in the walk; however, as we walk this life, the older we get (physically or spiritually) we should become more and more aware of his hand in our lives. He knows the plan... He knows what is best... learning to just TRUST in that is a big step towards always moving forward and not bogging down.

We do not have internet access at the moment, and as much as I hate that, I will survive!
I love each of you and we are both so very thankful for your investment in our life! Hopefully, one day, we can pay it forward!

All who wander are not lost

"Not all those that wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien

This quote has taken on new meaning for me this past month or so, and it is so true.
I feel like a NOMAD- moving every week- sometimes less than that, and not having a "place" to call home, but I AM NOT LOST!!! We are EXACTLY where we are supposed to be. It is funny how I can feel at home here in this city, and Todd does too. How we started out on the fringes of it (even when God said to come to New Orleans), trying to stay away from the biggest part of it, and yet.... we kept feeling pulled here. So, now we are here, and we both have a peace about it. I LOVE my job, and am excited about what God is going to do.
We have definitely "wandered" around this month, but here again.... not lost. Every single step of the way, God has been there and has paved the way somehow. I have not wanted to be dependent on anyone, but we have had to have some help from family and we are grateful.
We are getting closer everyday to "settling" somewhere. It is funny how OUR plans have changed. (that is another blog) I know it will happen. I know He has a plan thru all of this. We were just talking about how excited we both are to be here, and know we are supposed to be here. WE ARE NOT LOST.
However, so many ARE lost, even those that think they have it all figured out.... have the plan....etc..
As I was driving home from work today, I passed so many people- walking or waiting for the bus. People..... so many people... everywhere. Hailey is in China... people... lots of people.... even there in Kingsport/Johnson City... I could go to the store and never see the same people. It is amazing to me that our God sees and KNOWS each one intimately. He cares about THEIR problems, their needs. I want to be the person that is Jesus to them. This city is SO diverse- so many cultures- so many races- I do love that!
WHAT can I do? I just start by one minute, one person.... every person I come into contact with, I want it to be positive. To speak, to smile, to love... I AM NOT LOST.... He reminds me often, even when I get down or frustrated because we are in this situation. He WILL use it all for His glory.
You may not be a nomad, wandering around, living in hotels, :)..
but you too are NOT LOST. He has you where you are... for a reason. Listen closely.... don't let the everyday drown it out. ( we are all guilty of that) That just reminded me of the scene in "Dead Poet's society" when Mr Keating has the class in the hall where all the pictures of the past are on the wall. He tells them to lean in and listen to the legacy that the boys in the pictures are whispering to them..... "CARPE DIEM".... SEIZE THE DAY.... make your lives extra ordinary...
That is not a Christian movie, but the quote still rings true.....
and a life that is "extra ordinary" is not one that "makes it" in the financial world (nothing wrong with money)- or seems to have it all together--- it is the life that is surrendered to the only one that can make it extra ordinary~

JOB

Just a quick update:
Yesterday was a "yucky" day for me. I felt bad physically (really bad actually) and so we just stayed in and he took care of me. Of course then I was down emotionally too.
 WHERE is God? Does he care? Will we ever get a job? What is He up to?
I hate myself for being just like the children of Israel!! I mean, seriously, how could I doubt HIM ever? He has proved himself to be faithful- just like He says He is.
I cried some yesterday and when Todd went out for a little bit-- I was reading Ps. 3 (some of those verses 5-6) - God had used in a mighty way in my life in 2005, and I felt Him again saying: " I am here and I do hear you." I have this!
So, this morning I got up to go to the restaurant that I had found on craigslist a few days ago. I couldn't get it out of my mind, and so I went in this morning. I prayed as I went because it looks like it is going to rain (and remember we don't have a top on car!)-- and for some reason, I knew before I got there that I was going to get it.
The guy hired me on the spot! That is what I have been waiting for!!! Just someone give this old, homeschooling mom a chance! :)
 
There are also some things going on that I don't blog about but they are amazing! 

Love you all and thanks for even caring what this crazy couple is up to!
It is so much bigger than anything I can imagine- because I serve a BIG God!

A Dim light

Another week-- another place to stay--- another chance to learn more about His faithfulness.
The week in Slidell was not wasted, but we found no work-- again. It blows my mind that there are so many jobs out there and NO ONE will hire us! I even put in application to be receptionist at a doggie daycare! lol
So, this morning, Todd went to work again with that guy that owns a lawn care service. It is helpful at least, and we are thankful. He loaded the car for me before he left, and I checked out by 10. I sat in the car a moment and prayed. I didn't have a clue really where to go, but more towards the CITY. WHY do we both feel pulled going TOWARDS it and not AWAY from it?? It can only be God because we both would run the other way! I mean, for heaven's sake- we want to be on a sailboat!
I feel so small in that little car in that big city! If you have been there and crossed over all those huge, tall bridges... you know. God has really been gracious to that pitiful little car! I drove over the bridge that goes straight down into the city, and I always think of being in a u- haul with my dad as we were moving to the seminary when I was 14. I had some good years here, but I never -- in a MILLION years thought I would be back!
I drove to the seminary and asked them about a room. They did have a room that they would rent to us for a month- only $500; however, it was just a room! Seriously-- I need a kitchen! I need to cook! I need some eggs! lol
So, there is one extended stay in the area, back a few exits but still close enough in. God had provided for another week! (thank you Lord) It does have a kitchen! And I do have to say... this bed is AMAZING!
I looked at Todd as we drove back here after work, and I said, "baby, here we go again." We do not know why we can't find work in certain places, but we are trusting that He has a plan and we will find work TOMORROW! We do not want to be a burden to family or friends. We both are willing to do whatever it takes to do what we need to do to make it. As far the merchant marine jobs, I think it will take some time. It is probably who you know, but he would truly benefit from some of the classes that they talk about, and of course they cost money. We will be persistent and it will pay off eventually.
I seem to get more frustrated than Todd does about God's timing! You would think I would learn, but sometimes still I get nervous at the LAST second. Todd told me to title  it "magnificent timing." He is faithful.
There is a reason the Bible says, " Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path." As much as I wish I could see a little further down the path, He is only giving us a little light from a very dim flashlight!

Fried Egss and Faith

I don't know how close any of you have been to "homelessness" but I do recommend it sometime! I remember when I went to Mission Waco and went through a poverty "simulation." It was very hard and I thought I knew about things! It was a weekend of living like the homeless and we got pretty hungry too. However, I knew it would be over in a day or so.
We are learning so many things through what we are going through now, and I don't "regret" it, but believe me .... it IS hard. Now, granted, if we HAD money, none of this would be happening.... and then again.... who knows. GOD FORBID I EVER JUST DEPEND ON MYSELF OR MONEY. No matter what circumstance I find myself in, I NEED him every breath. 
So, let me say that at this moment, I am WANTING SOME FRIED EGGS! I would just about go dig in a dumpster for them! We take for granted lots of things, and I think I am complaining more than I should. (so Todd says) I am blaming it on hormones this week! BUT- I am not complaining now, I am just saying that there are things you have or do every day that you just DO OR HAVE and don't think about it. When you have to go without, then it makes you think. At this moment, we have a microwave and a crockpot, so many do not even have that! We don't have money or I would go to cracker barrel and get me some eggs! ha 
Last night, when I THOUGHT I was hungry, I told Todd I was going to go to a restaurant and sit out back till they threw out the food! And you think I am kidding!
BUT, our faith is fine. I do have moments of "feeling sorry for myself," and then I realize how blessed we are. I know that this is just for a "moment" and will end.
We are having trouble finding work. Todd has walked in so many towing companies, called, filled out applications online,etc... they either aren't hiring at the moment or want experience! Please just pray someone will give him a chance. He did get a weed eating job this week one day and it was helpful.
I have done the same- at restaurants, nursing homes, hospice, and the hospital. I have had some positive results, but still no job. Today we are going to the employment agency.
I do want to give a shout out to NORTHSHORE church here in Slidell. I won't go into what I got at other churches, but I do know that God was all over our experience with this church. Jay, is one of the pastors there, and we talked for a long time. He is used to people "asking" for financial assistance, and I know too. However, I did not go in asking for anything except prayer and maybe some direction on which way to go, and if anyone in the church knew of a job. We are in this big town, I needed to connect with believers somehow. It is hard not knowing anyone. They put us in a motel for a week and gave us a little money for gas and a few groceries. It was a HUGE blessing!
I better quit blogging now and get busy finding a job!! Please pray for us, but NO WORRYING.....

Well, today the failures and fears have surfaced instead of the faith!
I think since we have arrived here, I expected that God would just pave the way miraculously for a job, etc.... We spent the day looking for his maritime towing companies that were supposed to be all in a row on Hwy 90, and we could not find any of them! We are pretty destitute at the moment, and I realized how easy it is for some to be homeless if they do not have the support of family and great friends! So, today- all my fears and all the thoughts I have about myself being a failure have come to light. I thank God for Todd and how we complement each other. He is the one that can put a smile on my face at any time! Tomorrow is another day.
Anyway- I am writing because I was taking a bath when the Lord just hit me upside the head with something. I was thinking about my post on fb about already missing being on the boat, and I surely miss the water. Everything about being there was just "perfect"- and I put pictures on that everyone was "jealous" of- the sunrise, sunsets, dolphins, moon out my bedroom window, etc... and God just let me know that He DID send us here and it is more than just Todd's job. I think that the call that is in me and hasn't gone away - even after Gibsontown- He let me know that all of this is so much more than me living in "wonderful" circumstances! I do not know where all this will lead, but He is using all the things we are going through now- for His glory. Just pray that I will be like Shadrach, Mechach and Abednigo-- who said, "Our God is ABLE to deliver us from the fire, but if He does not- we will still worship Him." (paraphrase )

We are in a "cheap" motel tonight, and hoping to get a tent tomorrow and stay in a state park the rest of the week. The weather is going to be nice.
We are feeling a little of what it feels like to be "hungry" and notice how all the things we say show just how "spoiled" we are. All of us really can do without more than we think we can.

So, as much as I would LOVE to be on that boat, sitting by the water-- I would much rather be where He has told me to be.

Just please pray for us as we continue this "journey" and try and figure out what it is all about.

There are no SMALL miracles

"There are 2 ways to live life- One is as though nothing is a miracle. the other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein
I definitely fall into the latter category!
Before I begin our adventure tale, I want to clarify something. I do believe we should be diligent and plans are good. there are all kinds of people- some are detailed, organized, steady, etc... and others are more "free"- fly by the seat of your pants- if you will. I truly do not believe there is a right or wrong way. We can all learn from each other. So, I said that to say-Some of my more, "structured" friends/family may have trouble with our adventure. I pray though, that no matter which way you are bent- the goal here is to show GOD'S FAITHFULNESS- no matter who or where we are! He has constantly amazed us and is teaching us new things every day.
I was going to title this "small miracles or blessings, but realized there really aren't any SMALL ones. His watch care over his children is a big deal!

Todd and I had "planned" this move, and how much we needed to save, but soon after that I lost my job and our car blew up! So, we sold our things and bought our little car. So now, had we waited, would we have really been able to save any more than we had? Certain circumstances "happened" and we just decided to go. "So, we packed up the "rabbit" and moved to the sea." (use the Beverly Hillbillies tune)
I had doubts the little car would make it, and thanks to all of you that prayed for us as we traveled. The whole trip was wonderful and uneventful.
My aunt Anita and her husband, Jay offered us a place to stay for a little bit, but it was so much more than that. We had to go several places that were " a fer piece", while Todd was looking for a job. Anita let us use HER car for all of that.
Jay is sick, but he and Todd hit if off and had a good time. Anita has always been special to me, so is being close to her again. She has truly been a blessing to both of us- and continues to be!
I would say I would spare you the boat details; however, God is in the details.
I found a boat on craigslist a few months ago. I talked to this guy over several months, and he always acted like we were the only ones interested in the boat. when we got down here we came over to Panama City to see it. there was some water in it, and he was very concerned. We worked out a "verbal deal" (mistake?) and came down to stay on the boat, fix it up and pay him what we could, etc...
The day after we got here, another guy shows up to "buy" the boat! He had been talking to him for several months also. He didn't know anything about us either! the guys at the marina here told us to be leary of him and the boat. I am praying the whole time. the guy bought the boat finally and we had to get off! WHAT in the world were we to do? ( you have to know our money is TIGHT- watching every penny till one of us is working) I was sitting on the bow of the boat that night- praying- crying. The man one boat over, stops to talk to me. He gave us a fan for the boat that night, and then it was like he adopted us! Why?? So, in just one day- this man offers us his boat to stay on and he went somewhere else! WHO does that?
(wow, I'm trying not to leave anything out and also don't want to write a book no one will want to read. ) This REALLY isn't a story about us at all!
The guys at the Marina have bent over backwards to help us both try and find jobs. Again- why? Nice people? Sure- but I believe God placed all of them and us where we are.
So, that brings us to yesterday. It was one of those days when things seem to be wrong, but they are still all in his hand and plan.
We went out job looking- yes, in the rabbit, and let me tell you, no one has a car that old here and everyone has air! lol We get lots of looks!
We were somewhere when all this smoke comes from under the hood. We got the car out of the main road and onto a side, residential street. He found the hose that had blown, and got it off. We looked up closest parts store on theGarmin-- 0.5 miles!!! So, we take off walking! Now, it is very hot, and I am in a dress! When we got there, they were having a cookout. they offered food, but we did take the free water!! Free was a God thing!
When we got back , a nice guy from Miami offered to help Todd move the car into his shady driveway. He got the part on. Ramone had some helpful advice for a job-- so we thought. But here again, the day before that, I was driving all around PC by myself looking for a job--
thankful and blessed the hose did not blow then!!
When we got back to the boat, Greg, the man from the Marina, had a sea captain friend "show up" and he told him about Todd. So, they walked and talked for awhile. Guess what his advice to him was---- to go back to La (New Orleans) and told him How to get a job immediately! So, now we are wondering- what do we do? My specific prayer yesterday was that if neither of us heard a word from a job today- that was our answer. We both had several places tell us they would let us know by today! Well- guess what? We had NO phone calls today! I want to ask for a "fleece" but have been told that shows a lack of faith-- don't know. It looks like we will pack up Sunday morning and head back that way! HE will have to provide and I know he will and show us what to do.
This is an adventure, but mostly God is using it to show us many things about himself.
I know that was long, and if you stuck it out- I hope you know that if he cares about the sparrow- how much more does he care about you!! That does not mean his is Santa Claus- answering our every whim, but He IS our father, and as parents we always care about our children.
I would love to hear what He is doing in your life, because I know He is!!
Please pray for us-

OK===== WOW !!! I have to tell this and I hope I can! It kind of seems like a personal thing, but I just want you to know how amazing is our God!!!
I finished writing this blog and went and sat out on the dock. It is dark and I am praying for even "clearer" direction. Todd and I had just talked about Gideon and how he asked God for a "sign" to know for sure it was Him talking, and then he asks for another sign and asked God not to be angry!
So, I'm praying and I said, " God, maybe I shouldn't ask you for a sign, but we are really in need of knowing what to do, and it would be great (maybe kind of silly) for a dolphin to just show up close for once. Now, I have sat out every night we have been here and NEVER seen a dolphin. I usually see them in the morning .... way out there. NOW, THIS IS THE TRUTH..... I HAD JUST FINISHED PRAYING..... AND A BIG DOLPHIN JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER ABOUT 10 FT FROM ME!!!!  I was so overwhelmed I just started crying! The dolphin continued to swim all around and come up out of the water a few times... very close to me! I named him "Gideon"
Thank you Lord for your answers!!!